Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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