CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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