There was a lot of him and a little penis
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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