found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize