You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
