My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
