we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
