Your mouth is God's brothel.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
