you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
