I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you traded sex for a burrito?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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