I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
