I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
