$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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