I cockslap morals
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
