you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
