so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
