last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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