I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
