he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The power of my boobs compel you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
