drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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