T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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