Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
