Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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