And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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