I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
