There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
