ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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