great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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