sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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