i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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