How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
