No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
