I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
