I hate your face
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
