They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
