did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
