he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
