You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
