He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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