I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
