Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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