your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
