remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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