..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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