p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
