I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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