i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
