I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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