Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
