I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
