drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize