she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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