Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize