Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
