i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
