You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
