im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
