I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
