Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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