Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
