Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
